Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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