Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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