I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
