So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
