vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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