It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I need to align my fucking chakras
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
