she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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