we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
