all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
