She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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