I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize