I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
where are my eyebrows?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
