who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
