So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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