The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
