guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
