I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
even my farts smell like vagina
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
