Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
