If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize