Pappa wants mamma naked
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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