I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
