We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
