$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
