**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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