Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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