Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
