Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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