I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Let's get the cat blown out
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
