I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
