do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize