every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
