i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
