That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
