we have officially lost it.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
