So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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