sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Nicole vs. Life
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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