Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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