so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
