Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
ugly people sure do ruin things
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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