Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
All I want is dick and wine.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
