She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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