I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
