I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
