Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
