Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
