She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
