True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
