just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
