I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
