every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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