Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
