just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
