Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
