all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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