As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
