and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize