hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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