I just pynch a tree in the face
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
