how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
