I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
