After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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